Jobs minus Holidays

I would have an entry in the Carlsberg Book of Pointless World Records (if such a publication existed) considering. I have 23 holidays remaining with no thought to use them before the deadline of 12pm Friday 22nd December, only 91 days and counting. In fact, I have taken 2.5 days holiday since I started with the company in December 2004. Quite a formidable, untouchable record, don't you agree? I recall mentioning this to a friend on MSN and her reply being that my employers must love me. Quite the contrary I am afraid. They think I am insane.

Across the water, my stance would be the same as the majority. (Although perhaps most would at least triple the amount I've taken) Having had the opportunity to speak to Americans living and working in the United Kingdom, you get to understand the reality behind the many myths. Firstly so few actually hold passports because there is so much to do in their own country. Secondly they only receive two weeks holiday each year and those that actually take this time off spend it with their family. Then if we consider my friend Nav, working in India six days a week with no holiday whatsoever. I feel I can deem myself extremely lucky.

Talking of Nav, I was the inspiration for one of his first blog entries on his now neglected blog. The thought of the entry came back when I discovered a link on the Guardian Newsblog, hidden in the corner sidebar in tiny point 8 text. 100 Jobs does exactly what it says on the tin, I mean webpage. The blogger, disillussion with his lack of success applying for jobs he was suited for has started a comic tale of applying for 100 jobs where is the most inappropriate candidate. There are some absolute jems in there. By the way, did I mention my second favourite Madonna song of all time? Of course, it could only be Holiday.

Cardboard Personality

A personality must be a prerequisite for a job on a helpdesk, when ninety percent of your role is customer facing (on the telephone, I give you but nevertheless customer facing). Apparently I slipped through the cracks of our stringent interview process, which included an online SHL assessment. In the past people would say that I lacked an overt personality. I was shy, quiet or reserved. However, no one would be bold enough to say I had a cardboard personality. Now, I will be the first to admit that I could never light up a room with a smile and warm glow. I just never have been the life and soul, but I like it that way. People skills have never been high on my list of talents, yet let me for the record say they are something I am constantly trying to improve. In my previous job I was extremely nervous, but you could understand as it was literally customer facing, in an office of some five hundred with no telephone to hide behind.

My colleague deserves an entry all to himself, but I do not think I have the time (or the energy) to catalogue his comical moments. Most would be highly unsuitable for a family friendly blog, such as this. Let me put him into the broad category of office joker and leave it at that. He is the first person to actually say I lack a personality. While I will agree that my lack of vocal greetings at the beginning and end of the day, has left much to be desired but I have been making a effort. To be fair to him, his generation and my generation are a world apart, but while that does not excuse my rudeness it does shed a little light the differences between our world. Perhaps the best way to describe him, is one of those people that will say out loud what the majority of people are thinking. While this is not generally a bad thing, too much honesty can get you into trouble.

I take the comments on board, positive criticism is always worth hearing, although perhaps never this direct and harsh. Sure I have a monotonous tone on the telephone and can sound extremely despondent, although genuinely do not mean to do so. I come across as I hate being on the end of the helpline but I actually enjoy my job. Compared to some of the jobs I have had, this is the least stressful and the most rewarding.

Unfortunately a personality transplant is not currently available on the NHS and would bankrupt my company BUPA scheme. What are the alternatives? To try harder? To talk more? The strange thing is none of my work colleagues will know the Andrew that started college some eight years ago. If I have a cardboard personality now, I must have had the personality of a goldfish back then. There has been a major improvement, believe me. My fear would be on our company website, my manager writing some interesting biographies for the world to read. Perish such a thought!