Sometimes I need to write very little in a blog post. All I need to do is recite the lyrics from a recent song. Little did I know on Friday 19th June, when I first heard 21 Guns by Green Day during the summer blockbuster sequel that the same words would be so reminiscent of the predicament I found myself in, less than four months later.
Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone
After the twenty-one gun salute comes the deep reflection and analysis in the cold silence, but I shall save that for another day.
It is funny where you can end up after University. Never did I think I would find myself in deepest West Berkshire in the historic market town of Newbury. I had only heard of it from The Third Battle over the proposed bypass in the mid 1990s.
One friend D, has done extremely well for himself, since graduating DMU with a 1st in July 2004. He currently works for a very famous fashion house and the last I had heard he was in the former crown colony.
My other friend from Uni, V is now in Geneva although he was quite close to my current location, working for the other big employer in the West Berkshire town. However, I can only feel myself being rather shortchanged in terms of location. Newbury is not in the same league as Hong Kong or the capital of Switzerland.
Who knows where this job or my career for that matter might take me. I have made it no secret that I have a desire to travel and would have no problem if it was my job rather than a two week holiday that took me to the far flung corners of the globe. I remember talking to one of my well traveled bosses about the glamour of travelling in your job. He had spent a great deal of time in Europe and in Australasia. His comment was that although it may sound quite glamorous the reality is you spend a great deal of time in hotels, unfamiliar offices and airport lounges. Many which are quite a long distance from a exotic capital city.
I have a great deal of respect for a number of people. Some immediately close to me, my family, friends and even some work colleagues. However, I perhaps have the greatest deal of respect for people out there in the media and living their lives under the microscopic gaze of the public eye.
If that alone is not easy, you can find yourself on the receiving end of some negative press and your career stall. What do you do? Do you lie down and take the public beating and just crawl away into a hole? Or do you go all out to prove your doubters wrong. I have always striven for the later, more so in recent years as I have both the desire and the pure motivation to come back all guns blazing. Even if that is perhaps not quite my personality and takes me way outside of my comfort zone.
There were two people that I wanted to mention in this blog post, mainly because both have been in the news in the past few weeks. Let me start with David Beckham, someone I am sure you will know, even if only by name.
Out of favour at his club Real Madrid (ironically by now England coach Capello) dropped symbolically by Steve McClaren in something of a gesture of grandeur. The ex-Manchester United player was for sure in a dark place. Particularly after confirming his move to the MLS, for his club manager to say publicly that he played his last game for the club. It was here that I gained the ultimate respect for the footballer. He continued to train alone at the Madrid training camp. His dedication to his sport can never be questioned. Indeed he turned it around, he was recalled to the squad, took the team kicking and screaming within grasp of the title. The fact that ex Arsenal forward Jose Antonio Reyes scored the winning goals in the final league match against Mallorca is not lost on me. However it was Beckham whom inspired the squad to get to that point.
It was for England, I feel that he made his greatest impact. McClaren had always said that the door was open on the midfielder but I thought he would never return to use him. I was wrong, he made the comeback in the friendly against Brazil (I was there!) and created the goal and continued to make a substantial contribution in the following qualifiers. Even the final match against Croatia, his appearance turned England's fortunes as he crossed the ball for Crouch to score and equalise. England were through to Austria & Switzerland for a few short minutes.
The feeling was that he would, re-create the magic from 2001, in the final qualifier against Greece at Old Trafford. It was not to be on this wet November evening in North London. However it was in Milan on loan from LA Galaxy that Beckham would prove that he still has something to offer England. The Italians, not an easy crowd to win over, fell in love with him. Just when you thought David was a washed up footballer, living the high life in a below par league in the California sunshine he comes back with a bang and some incredible performances and amazing goals and wins his spot back in the England squad as a starter (not just an impact sub from the bench).
The second person I would like to focus on is Jennifer Hudson. She came back from very difficult personal tragedy in her home life to take centre stage at the Super Bowl to perform the national anthem. A song, which I feel includes all the ingredients that should be in a patriotic song for a nation. Deep stirring lyrics, story telling at it's best and a melody that is instantly memorable regardless of the arrangement and playable on almost any instrument.
We all lose people close to use during the course of our lives, but the circumstances of Jennifer's loss is almost impossible to comprehend. To lose so many of your loved ones in such a single moment is difficult to even bear thinking about. What made it worse for Miss Hudson, was that it was her mentor, her rock, the person she looked up to the most and was the keystone inspiration to her career.
I wonder how she felt, talking to the pitch at the Super Bowl XLIII at The Raymond James Stadium. It does not really matter because she pulled it off, with an audience of hundred thousand plus in the ground and many millions if not billions around the globe. I have the utmost respect for her as a performer, but now even more so as a human being. You have to keep moving on but never forget the people that got you where you are today. The public might doubt you, but your true friends and family always remain positive, behind you, supportive and caring. Making sure that the next decision you make, the next step you take is for the better and good.
For me, the penny did not drop until Tuesday 27th January. Sometime mid-morning I came under the realisation that I have so much to do but nothing immediate to look forward to. I then glanced at my countdown timer. Five hundred days to go. Could my dreams of South Africa be any further from me right now, on a gloomy, dull grey winter morning in West Berkshire?
The trigger for this was actually an e-mail I received from my line manager. The list of key priorities for the coming fortnight. I knew the majority on the list, that was not that shock. The surprise was I would have to also put on a new hat, while my colleague is off skiing. I thrive on pressure but sometimes there can be too much and yesterday I felt a sense of coming close to the edge, being shown the drop but still hanging on (or being held) for a short while before being thrown over the cliff!
The past few months has been extremely hectic and my feet have hardly touched the ground. I have had major milestones in my own calendar if you will, mainly personal outside of work. They were moving into my flat in mid October, my weekend in Wrexham in early November, my birthday in late November, Christmas and finally my ski holiday. It was only after my holiday could I truly focus on 2009 and the year ahead.
Looks like that moment has finally arrived. I know that the year ahead will be full of challenges but I am keen to meet them head on. I see no obsticles in my path, just opportunities. Plus, it is always great to have something to look forward to. Whatever happens, I will try my best to report it here, so you too can follow my truimphs and defeats.
