One of the artists, uploaded the image onto Facebook and tried to find me to tag me in the image. "Andrew, I cannot find you?". My response was, "Fantastic, that means my privacy and security settings are working perfectly!"
My original intention with this professional blog, was to have somewhere to post my geeky work based musings. My personal blog, Human Nature would at times get bogged down in technical related postings and my mainstream audience began to turn off. This separation worked well back in 2008 and 2009 when I had both the time and inclination to update a secondary blog. Even though entries were scarce and I had very little commentary to give on my very average work place. Now in present day 2012, I find it difficult to have time to update just my personal blog on a regular basis. It is impossible to manage another.
I am making a major effort with my personal blog. I know, as I start my thirties life will be changing dramatically over the next few years and I have an overwhelming desire to record as much as I can. While work is of course important, I find there is little commentary I can add that is not already being discussed elsewhere. (I should clarify that with some excellent work related blogs but all I could find was this - Letters Of Note and even this is not exactly fully work related).
Hopefully I will make time for a few posts from time to time, there are a few I have in my head, which I really need to get down onto paper and then onto the world wide web. For now at least, goodbye to the few people that actually read this blog!
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.I consider myself both lucky and blessed to have made it through some rather difficult times in recent months. As difficult as it can be, I am trying to stop looking back and analysing the past, I can do nothing to change, what has been, what was said, what was done. I need to refocus all my energies on my new job, my new responsibilities and my future. This of course is much easier said than done, but I have a few ideas and am in discussions with family, close friends and colleagues on the next steps. There is a great deal to be done and time is not on my side. This is the moment - Carpe Diem!
To say the last four months have been easy would be the understatement of the decade. In fact, since touching down from Valencia my life has been anything but a piece of cake. I thought the holiday would have given me the chance to recharge the batteries and come back with a clear perspective. Instead, I found myself soon deciding that it was time for a change.
Eleven days after making that decision, the result of a chain of events compelled me to make another more immediate decision. Back then, I was unsure if it was the right thing to do. Validation felt a long long way off. (If at all ever possible, would I come to regret this forever?)
I suppose my initial problem was I was naive to think I would be back in employment as quickly as before. Last time around, my spell of unemployment was a short lived two weeks. A holiday if you will. Even though there were so many more opportunities out there, it is just a shame that there were hundreds more applying for each position.
I got an interview, got complacent invested too much into this one opportunity and then had to go back and start all over again once the rejection came through.
I applied for a position back in mid November, one of several that day and it was quickly forgotten about. As I had not heard back from anyone, I assumed that it was just another case of a rejection. If you do not hear from us, you should consider your application unsuccessful. No news is bad news, so to speak. You can imagine my surprise to get a phone call around 10am on the first officially working day of 2010. I swiftly arranged an interview for the next day. When I only heard back to say that other candidates had been delayed due to the adverse weather conditions, I resigned myself to yet another rejection in waiting.
You can therefore imagine (or not) my surprise to finally be offered a position this afternoon. The fact it was via e-mail threw me a little but it was the news I had been waiting for and I walked straight into the lounge to share the news with my Mum and youngest sister.
A fresh start, a blank page, a new routine, new people and a new challenge. Yes you may have heard all this before, but maybe this time around, I will build a reputation for all the right reasons.
Sometimes I need to write very little in a blog post. All I need to do is recite the lyrics from a recent song. Little did I know on Friday 19th June, when I first heard 21 Guns by Green Day during the summer blockbuster sequel that the same words would be so reminiscent of the predicament I found myself in, less than four months later.
Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire?
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone
After the twenty-one gun salute comes the deep reflection and analysis in the cold silence, but I shall save that for another day.
It is funny where you can end up after University. Never did I think I would find myself in deepest West Berkshire in the historic market town of Newbury. I had only heard of it from The Third Battle over the proposed bypass in the mid 1990s.
One friend D, has done extremely well for himself, since graduating DMU with a 1st in July 2004. He currently works for a very famous fashion house and the last I had heard he was in the former crown colony.
My other friend from Uni, V is now in Geneva although he was quite close to my current location, working for the other big employer in the West Berkshire town. However, I can only feel myself being rather shortchanged in terms of location. Newbury is not in the same league as Hong Kong or the capital of Switzerland.
Who knows where this job or my career for that matter might take me. I have made it no secret that I have a desire to travel and would have no problem if it was my job rather than a two week holiday that took me to the far flung corners of the globe. I remember talking to one of my well traveled bosses about the glamour of travelling in your job. He had spent a great deal of time in Europe and in Australasia. His comment was that although it may sound quite glamorous the reality is you spend a great deal of time in hotels, unfamiliar offices and airport lounges. Many which are quite a long distance from a exotic capital city.
I have a great deal of respect for a number of people. Some immediately close to me, my family, friends and even some work colleagues. However, I perhaps have the greatest deal of respect for people out there in the media and living their lives under the microscopic gaze of the public eye.
If that alone is not easy, you can find yourself on the receiving end of some negative press and your career stall. What do you do? Do you lie down and take the public beating and just crawl away into a hole? Or do you go all out to prove your doubters wrong. I have always striven for the later, more so in recent years as I have both the desire and the pure motivation to come back all guns blazing. Even if that is perhaps not quite my personality and takes me way outside of my comfort zone.
There were two people that I wanted to mention in this blog post, mainly because both have been in the news in the past few weeks. Let me start with David Beckham, someone I am sure you will know, even if only by name.
Out of favour at his club Real Madrid (ironically by now England coach Capello) dropped symbolically by Steve McClaren in something of a gesture of grandeur. The ex-Manchester United player was for sure in a dark place. Particularly after confirming his move to the MLS, for his club manager to say publicly that he played his last game for the club. It was here that I gained the ultimate respect for the footballer. He continued to train alone at the Madrid training camp. His dedication to his sport can never be questioned. Indeed he turned it around, he was recalled to the squad, took the team kicking and screaming within grasp of the title. The fact that ex Arsenal forward Jose Antonio Reyes scored the winning goals in the final league match against Mallorca is not lost on me. However it was Beckham whom inspired the squad to get to that point.
It was for England, I feel that he made his greatest impact. McClaren had always said that the door was open on the midfielder but I thought he would never return to use him. I was wrong, he made the comeback in the friendly against Brazil (I was there!) and created the goal and continued to make a substantial contribution in the following qualifiers. Even the final match against Croatia, his appearance turned England's fortunes as he crossed the ball for Crouch to score and equalise. England were through to Austria & Switzerland for a few short minutes.
The feeling was that he would, re-create the magic from 2001, in the final qualifier against Greece at Old Trafford. It was not to be on this wet November evening in North London. However it was in Milan on loan from LA Galaxy that Beckham would prove that he still has something to offer England. The Italians, not an easy crowd to win over, fell in love with him. Just when you thought David was a washed up footballer, living the high life in a below par league in the California sunshine he comes back with a bang and some incredible performances and amazing goals and wins his spot back in the England squad as a starter (not just an impact sub from the bench).
The second person I would like to focus on is Jennifer Hudson. She came back from very difficult personal tragedy in her home life to take centre stage at the Super Bowl to perform the national anthem. A song, which I feel includes all the ingredients that should be in a patriotic song for a nation. Deep stirring lyrics, story telling at it's best and a melody that is instantly memorable regardless of the arrangement and playable on almost any instrument.
We all lose people close to use during the course of our lives, but the circumstances of Jennifer's loss is almost impossible to comprehend. To lose so many of your loved ones in such a single moment is difficult to even bear thinking about. What made it worse for Miss Hudson, was that it was her mentor, her rock, the person she looked up to the most and was the keystone inspiration to her career.
I wonder how she felt, talking to the pitch at the Super Bowl XLIII at The Raymond James Stadium. It does not really matter because she pulled it off, with an audience of hundred thousand plus in the ground and many millions if not billions around the globe. I have the utmost respect for her as a performer, but now even more so as a human being. You have to keep moving on but never forget the people that got you where you are today. The public might doubt you, but your true friends and family always remain positive, behind you, supportive and caring. Making sure that the next decision you make, the next step you take is for the better and good.
For me, the penny did not drop until Tuesday 27th January. Sometime mid-morning I came under the realisation that I have so much to do but nothing immediate to look forward to. I then glanced at my countdown timer. Five hundred days to go. Could my dreams of South Africa be any further from me right now, on a gloomy, dull grey winter morning in West Berkshire?
The trigger for this was actually an e-mail I received from my line manager. The list of key priorities for the coming fortnight. I knew the majority on the list, that was not that shock. The surprise was I would have to also put on a new hat, while my colleague is off skiing. I thrive on pressure but sometimes there can be too much and yesterday I felt a sense of coming close to the edge, being shown the drop but still hanging on (or being held) for a short while before being thrown over the cliff!
The past few months has been extremely hectic and my feet have hardly touched the ground. I have had major milestones in my own calendar if you will, mainly personal outside of work. They were moving into my flat in mid October, my weekend in Wrexham in early November, my birthday in late November, Christmas and finally my ski holiday. It was only after my holiday could I truly focus on 2009 and the year ahead.
Looks like that moment has finally arrived. I know that the year ahead will be full of challenges but I am keen to meet them head on. I see no obsticles in my path, just opportunities. Plus, it is always great to have something to look forward to. Whatever happens, I will try my best to report it here, so you too can follow my truimphs and defeats.
They Got Bradley Branning
All copyrights of the BBC and their respective copyright holders
A colleague whom sits opposite me, received a long time service award today. Ten years, yes, a decade with the company. The date she started with the company, I had left school and was in my third month at college. In the decade that has followed, I completed my A Levels, went to University and also got the first two years of my career (somewhat questionable description) kick started.
During the mini celebration at midday, the discussion soon moved to the other 'long termers' on our floor. GH confirmed he had been with the company twenty eight years. My colleague, J, came in with a quick insightful comment. "You do realise that you have been with this company longer than some people have been born?" There was laughter all around. I had realised that with my twenty seventh birthday literally around the corner, I was one of the handful to have been alive less time than GH had been an employee.
When I was younger, I dreamt of these moments. Well maybe dreamt is the wrong word, looked forward to. I remember my Dad's boss got a gold engraved cigarette lighter for five years service and then a gold pen for a few more, eight perhaps. I have always wanted to work for the same company for a considerable amount of time. However, the modern working life has little place for loyalty and we as people do tend to get restless. Who really wants to stay in the same company for a considerable amount of time, let alone the same actual job. The benefit of larger corporations is there are opportunities that present themselves on a regular basis. I suppose, it is also very important to be good at what you do. Large corporation do eventually get rid of the deadwood (even if it takes a little longer). What am I trying to say?
I would love to be able to blog here in ten years time (in some kind of description) and celebrate ten years with my employer but I am not naive. I am realistic and know that I may be lucky to last half that? Why? Well I think that the reality is I will want a new challenge and who knows my personal circumstances may have well changed. (I live in hope).
It was crazy as I expected, but I did eventually get out the door. As with all these things it is a rush to get everything done before the end of the day plus there is the extended lunch to say goodbye and wish me well in my new job. Although I was quite disappointed that by a twist of fate there were no members of the development team in (off sick or on holiday). Just the way it goes I suppose.
It was also all rather sudden when you consider I had two weeks off work before my final week and my colleagues were not informed until a few days into my holiday. Thankfully there was only a one month notice period in my contract, I am not sure how I would have filled out three months.
How do I feel after nearly four years service? Happy with the overall experience and how much I learned about a completely unknown industry. Thankful to the role lady luck played in dropping a fantastic manager and colleagues on the helpdesk which became the Dream Team. Not only this but the fact that I made some long term friendships, even with those on the "other side" of the sister company. However, I do feel a sense of emptiness. A sense of what could have been, what could have been achieved. If circumstances had been different, if the ship had sailed a different course. Never mind now, there is no point crying over spilt milk. I must concentrate on the future and my new role, new company, new colleagues and ultimately new lifestyle.
A close friend once remarked to me that the biggest regret of his career was staying in the same job (but more significantly same employer) for too long and the detrimental affect it had on his future aspirations. I did not want to make the same mistake, I had to move on, not just for career development but for my own personal development. It is time for the duckling to leave the nest.
I knew the day would eventually come along; when I would leave my current job but I never thought it would be in such circumstances. I suppose these things never pan out as planned. The official communication was sent out today but things have been moving very fast since the verbal offer was made to me on Tuesday 5th August via the telephone.
At times I have woken up and had to pinch myself, am I really leaving and going to this new company. It will take some time to sink in but with a start date around the corner (8th September) and my new boss already sending me work during my week off to my personal e-mail address, I feel myself hitting the ground running.
How do I feel? Apprehensive but in equal measure very excited, a new challenge, a change of scenery and a fresh routine. But am I ready? No, of course not! What I'm looking forward to most is a clean state. Being able to start "all over" as the Americans would say is such a great feeling or rather release. Although on the other hand having to 'prove' myself once again is going to be interesting to say the least.
It is really difficult to describe but when you wait so long for something to happen and then finally when the wheels are in motion, you feel a little taken back. There are plenty of things I need to get around to sorting out, one of which is the future of this blog. I will no longer be able to write so candidly about life in the workplace as I have before. Perhaps this could become a weblog for up-and-coming analysts. Ultimately I want it to become a useful generic resource, rather than the pointless waffling it has tended to be in the past. Stay tuned.
What is the true measure of a man? Some say it is the level of shine in his shoes. Others say it is the quality of the suit he wears and I tended to agree until quite recently. Being out and about and meeting various customers and other business people in general I have discovered a new item. The watch.
Sure, it may just be another piece of jewellery with the main role of telling you the time of day but I feel it has ultimately a bigger purpose. It is there to make a statement.
It may be there to scream out, "I'm successful" or "I'm important" or even "I'm an extrovert!". There is a message there but it is not always easy to read. I wonder what my gold, rather simple Sekonda watch says about me? It was a gift from my friend Dave in November 2004. It is all about style rather than making a fashion statement.
The real question is though, which brand should I aspire to own? Omega, Swatch or the classic Rolex?
The problem with eras drawing to a close is that you never truly appreciation their departure until long after the event. However, when you look at it in the cold light of day, eras are based on people and not on anything else. People come and people go but it is always a shame and surprise to see some people leave. Particularly when you get to the stage when you think you are on the verge of building something good. Or rather building upon on the most successful years for my business unit.
Nothing lasts forever, as difficult it is for me to comprehend and with change comes inevitably new opportunities. Something you would think I would relish? If I had been more involved in the process, perhaps I would be but I feel myself to a certain extent relegated and sidelined.
We have been here before? History does repeat itself! Within two months of joining the help desk, both the 2nd line analyst and my manager had resigned and moved on. The Operations Director had the burden to replace the manager and then build a new team. Not an easy task - particularly when the first preferential candidate turned it down at the eleventh hour after initially accepting. However, in a stroke of genius, the second choice (sloppy seconds?) turned out to be one of the best managers I have ever worked for. Three years later, I find the parallels starling but very different decisions being made for very different reasons.
The opportunity came around for me to say my piece and give my twenty pence worth and I duly obliged however I feel that the majority of what I said fell on deaf ears. To be honest, that does not bother me too much, the main part of the process was for me to vent my spleen and get the 'issues' out the in the open. I have to for once in my life be selfish and consider my own future and not that of my employer.
My Dad once said to me that the CEO of the multinational I worked for lost little sleep over the fact I was working extra hours on his forecourt in leafy Buckinghamshire. He was more concerned with the price of a barrel of oil and dealing with the next shareholders AGM. I was under this foolish notion that the man at the top would from to time to action think about the little people on the shop floor. It was a very interesting life lesson. It was perhaps the moment I started taking less pride in my job and it became just that a job and not a career move. I solemnly pray that in that case it will not be a case of history repeating itself.
More and more I feel my life (well work which makes up a big chunk) resembles Groundhog Day. It is the constant cycle I find myself in, of getting up and dragging myself out of bed to getting ready, to getting into the office. Days are more similar than indifferent. Of course there is the odd venture out into the real world to see clients, attend courses and conferences but generally I find myself in the same place. Sat on my chair, tapping away on my laptop.
I find the gym a good release at the end of the day but that is only three out of five evenings. Plus there is only so much motivation and self estem the workout can provide. It is difficult to find any true motivation when you are ultimately just clock watching and waiting for 5.15pm to come around. Only to know that tomorrow it is the same cycle all over again.
This blog post is perhaps an early cry for help. I need a new challenge, I need to meet new and exciting people and more than anything else I need new direction and purpose. The main issue that needs to be resolved is will I find it here or elsewhere?
You would expect a worldwide brand such as Hilton to provide broadband internet access in all their room as a bare minimum. You would be wrong to make such an assumption. Even though in their literature it clearly states that you can find a broadband cable in the bedside desk drawer on in the wardrobe. I looked around but even with a cable, I could not see a socket it for it anywhere. My television came with a small remote keyboard but it did not seem to work (even though it had batteries inside). I really needed to check my work e-mail and also have a little web time to give in to my cravings. To begin with I connected up my work N73 and used good old fashioned dial up. I remember the number for our ISP at work and entered it in. It connected! Fantastic! However, it was only at 9.6KBps! Painfully slow and not ideal for web surfing, although I did sign into MSN for a few minutes. VPN connected but I was not able to connect the exchange server. OWA was a little better but it took forever to load up all the images for all the menu buttons. I opted to disconnect. There must be a beter way. There was. I loaded up the Nokia software and clicked on the Connect To The Internet button. A wizard took me through a process of selecting my mobile network. Once I clicked on Connect, I was instantly zapped onto the 3G network and had a transfer rate of 460.8KBps! This was great, I was finally able to check my work e-mail, log into Facebook and give the obligatory status update and also check a few other personal e-mail accounts.
In this modern world we live in, there has grown a certain expectation. When we book into a hotel, we expect certain things. A broadband internet connection (wireless or otherwise) is a neccessity, just like warm running water.
There was a sense of inevitablity when I was told. Even so, it still came as a bit of a shock. I bet if you had been there with a video camera, you would have picked up the surprised expression across my face. I knew it was serious, the moment I was taken outside for a "word".
Ultimately we all have to have sense of selfworth and act quite selfishly on some occassions and this was one of those moments. Not for me or you, but for the individual concerned. I do not blame them, golden opportunities are rare particularly in this industry. However, I only feel a sense of what could have been. There was so much yet to be achieved, so much to get done.
The saying goes that as one door closes, another opens and if this does hold true here, then I am wondering who will walk in. A friend's comment was this is a great opportunity for you Andrew, to not just consolidate my position but prove my worth (and not for the first time). The circumstances this time around are very different and although my influence may be greater, the holes in my experience are clear for everyone to see.
Professionally I am in a really strange juncture in my career. I have some experience but not near enough to move onto the next opportunity but by the same token I am perhaps too old to be slogging it out on a help desk. It is interesting to see the journey I have already taken in the past few years and staggering to think I am just four years into my career and there are sixty two (perhaps more) to go. [This would normally be the point I would link to my personal blog to cover work experiences prior to November 2004, but that is not entirely necessary!]
Instead I find myself wondering what the future holds. It would be extremely foolish and ungrateful not to appreciate the mountains being moved for my benefit. Maybe that comes across far too selfish, not for my benefit then, for my "personal development". Obviously I am not really in a position to divulge the details but changes are afoot. I would never been receiving this kind of special treatment at another establishment. Proof, that good solid service, loyalty and integrity are hard currency, particularly in smaller firms which tend to always have a large employee turnover (or is that just the perception from the outside). Throughout the past year, there have been moments when I have doubted myself, felt uncomfortable and even way out in the deep end but I have met most (but not all) challenges with a smile and determined outlook.
Having said all of that, I know I could have done better, much better. I have not just let myself down but my colleagues too. Some would say I am being quite harsh, considering the circumstances and the leap from support to the business intelligence arena. There is a saying that in life, there are no second chances. Maybe, just maybe I have got my second bite at the cherry.
What will I do? What will I change and more importantly how will I be judged? These for the time being remain somewhat ambiguous questions. Whose answers will be answered (I hope) over time on this blog. For the time being, I need nothing but willpower. Nothing more left to say but ladies and gentlemen, wish me luck!
